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In the fifties the journalists referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s called “swinging,” but not considering of its name this swinging lifestyle seems to be increasing in recognition among mainstream, adult married couples in America. The popular media are paying increasing interest to the trend, frequently putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon marriages. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in almost all states as well as Canada, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are profitable ventures which supply all levels of group activities for swingers including vacation plans, special vacation sites for swingers, and annual conferences and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers journey agency, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in February of 1998.
What precisely is swinging? Dissimilar “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and acceptance of betrayal in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of many people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or dedication to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the main focus. Swinging is frequently done in the attendance of one’s spouse and requires the approval of both to the experience. Though swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are regulations restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its adherents claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the privacy and dishonesty inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the couple can explore their fantasies mutually without cheating or shame. By removing the necessity for cheating from the marriage, a brand new stage of reliance and openness about all of one’s feelings is supposedly achieved without the negative baggage of distrust.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and scholarly importance because the attempt to combine sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is fundamentally “deviant” from the western model of idealistic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are mutually reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle really strengthens or weakens marital relationships, but in an era where 37% of husbands and 30% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs admit to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 61%, and where family instability and parental neglect of kids has become a major national concern, any effort to redefine “love” and fortify the marital bond is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going section of the residents reported in past studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general population. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the gladness of their marriages and life satisfaction commonly as higher than the non-swinging population.